Hello everybody and welcome to The CTE Podcast. Thanks for tuning in. I’m your host, Andres Paniagua. This podcast is brought to you by Cafe Tres Estrellas. CTE is a small batch, craft-coffee roaster that specializes in fair trade organic coffee. If you need a good cup of coffee, visit them at cafetresestrellas.com. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get on with the show.
This question was sent in by Elisabeth P. Full disclosure, she’s my wife so I thought answering her question as the first listener question would be a wise decision.
You can submit your questions on Facebook to @thectepodcast if you want the answered.
She commented on a Facebook post where I asked: “If you could go all in and change one thing about yourself, what would it be?”
She said she wants tips on how to stop second guessing herself.
This is something that hampers a lot of people’s progress towards their goals. They play out a scenario to infinitude and usually with all the bad outcomes. Most of the time they feel that the outcome will be so bad that they won’t be able to recover from it. What’s worse, they give the same scrutiny to even the smallest decision.
In order to combat this, I’ve come up with a few things second guessers can try.
First- (and in no particular order) write it down. If you can’t even bring yourself to writing it down, that’s a tell tale sign that you don’t need to spend a long time on the decision and it’s “consequences” aren’t something to worry about.
If it IS a big decision, getting it down on paper will help you define what the decision really is. Write down all the valid outcomes (good and bad). If you have to record this process, all the wild ideas won’t get recorded.
Second- Is the decision something you can recover from if it doesn’t go as planned? Can you make changes along the way? My new motto that I live by now is “fix the plane in the air” (Gary V.). Is your indecision going to put you so far behind that it doesn’t matter how great it is? You want to get something out there and then improve upon it.
Third- Be ok with things not going well. Second guessing yourself may come from the inability to not deal with failure. There may have been an incident when you made the wrong decision and you weren’t (in your mind) able to recover from it. You most likely were able to move on but at the time it felt like the world was going to end. Accepting failure is an important skill. People who have never experienced failure (people who are “winners”) have a hard time bouncing back.
And lastly, set a deadline for the decision. With the clock ticking, you’ll have to stop all the overthinking and come to a decision. A task will take as much time to complete that you give it. So don’t waste your time trying to find a reason why something won’t work. Use your time to find a way to make it work.
I once heard someone say that perfection is the disguise of insecurity. Once you realize that most decisions aren’t as important as you think and that most outcomes can be changed with a little extra work, making decisions will come a lot easier.
So that’s the show for this week. Thanks for listening. If you have any comments or questions on the things I spoke about today, please leave them in the comments below. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you want more information about the show or its sponsor.